Your kids may have been happy to abide by the house rules before they went away to college, but be prepared for things to be different when your student starts coming home on breaks. It’s understandable; they’ve had months of making their plans without considering curfews or family dinners. Follow these steps to keep blowups and resentment to a minimum when they come home.

Set expectations upfront

If you expect your student to join in family dinner or to clean the bathroom while they’re home, make sure they knows that’s the deal. If you’re going to be driving your child home from college, the ride home is a great time to lay out the ground rules since there are few distractions. If not, have the conversation as soon as they get home. You may be tempted to pick up where you left off, doing your child’s laundry and overseeing all meals, but understand that they’re fully capable of handling these tasks on their own.

Be prepared to compromise

It’s not easy, but it’s time to stop thinking of your child as an adult. That means that rules around things like curfews or check-ins may need to be relaxed from the high school days. Still, your home is not a dorm or a sorority house. It’s reasonable that they let you know their schedule.

Keep spending in check

If you’re financially supporting your college student, you may need to have a talk at the beginning of the break about their budget while they’re home. With an open schedule, it’s easy to rack up bills shopping, dining out with friends or going out at night. If the budget is tight, you might encourage your child to take on a temporary job to help cover discretionary spending or to do chores around the house to earn extra cash.

Put family time on the calendar

Your college student may be focused on catching up with high school pals, so if you want some quality family time, it can be helpful to schedule it. Spending uninterrupted time together will give you a chance to reconnect and find out what’s really going on. If you’ve got the budget for it, a family vacation or a family outing to a ball game or concert can create some lasting memories. You may find it even more enjoyable to spend time with your child now that they’re an adult.

Be there when they need you

It’s good to give your college student space, but let them know that you’re around when and if they’re ready to talk about any issues — either at school or back home. Whether it’s about friends or significant others, trouble with schoolwork or concerns about the future, you want your child to feel comfortable confiding in you. You have an important transition to make as well now, after all, from authoritarian parent to adult mentor and dependable sounding block.